last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
