Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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