Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
