I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
