So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
