FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
