I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
