I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
