I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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