Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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