if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
did you just send me my own nude
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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