Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
