I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
