Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
