found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
