Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
