Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
