Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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