did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
