jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
