did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
