and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
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