she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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