you would pick up someone in the library
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We left an ass print on the piano.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
