If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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