its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
