Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
