i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
