Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
