I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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