You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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