I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
