My friends, they love my intelligence
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
