Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
