He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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