I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
