Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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