Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
