i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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