stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
