I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She said her name was "party"
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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