Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
