Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
