The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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