When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
