i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Non-Jews are for practice
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
