So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
