apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
