All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She told me I should be a condom model.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
