i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
