Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
